Leslie Michael Orchard ([info]deus_x) wrote,
@ 2005-03-02 08:37:00
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Current mood: tired
Current music:Meat Beat Manifesto - Actual Sounds and Voices - Oblivion/Humans

Feline Defenestration

I’m almost proud, yet considering defenestration:

Our “plus-size” female cat has learned that I tend to get up around 6AM now, and shortly after I get up, I feed her and her brother. She’s also learned that jumping onto The Girl’s dresser, covered in clinky bottles and delicate things, tends to make me wake instantly and lunge out of bed—sometimes pulling my CPAP mask out of its hose—to retrieve her before she starts knocking things over for the pretty sounds they make.

Now, both our cats tend to start doing restless foraging things when they’re hungry. Cabinets open and close, forbidden shelves get jumped upon, running around happens. And, that’s why the dresser-jumping started, I think. Unfortunately, this past weekend, I made the mistake of storming down the stairs once and feeding the cats, after having been woken up two hours early by tinkling nail-polish bottles.

Oh ho! She’s a fast one, she is. It didn’t take her long to make a connection: This morning, she was like a snooze alarm 1/2 hour early. Our bed is positioned such that there’s about a 3-foot leap from its end, to the dresser of delicates. She made sure to leap from atop one of my ankles at the foot of the bed and onto the dresser; when I lunged out of bed, she hopped down immediately and ran out of the room. I went back to bed.

Just as I started falling back asleep, she was back, and this time launched onto the dresser using my toes as a platform. Another lunge, another run out of the room. This happened once more before the alarm finally went off, which was good because the sleepy girl lying next to me was probably about ready to defenestrate cat and boyfriend both. When I finally got up, she led me to the food, chirping and mewing smugly the whole way.

Tonight, I sleep with a squirt gun under my pillow.


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[info]winterlady
2005-03-02 01:49 pm UTC (link)
Tonight, I sleep with a squirt gun under my pillow.

This will be an excellent way to disabuse your cat of the idea that jumping on the dresser at ANY time is acceptible. Much less 1/2 hour before your alarm is scheduled to go off. That's just snarky.

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[info]yendi
2005-03-02 02:25 pm UTC (link)
You know, you're the second person today to post about cats behaving poorly in the early AM. Which only makes me gladder that we normally don't let the cats into the bedroom at night.

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[info]nerdtech
2005-03-02 03:36 pm UTC (link)
I had an aging pug plant his ass on my forehead last week, as I was slumbering. FUN. Hehehee...

He's stepped on my mouth too, in the morning. Not tasty.

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[info]jadecat
2005-03-02 04:17 pm UTC (link)
Hey, your girl cat must be talking to my DangerBoy! Save, he goes for my Beau's bureau that has the luandry quarters on it. Except when he wakes us up for the second time he gets put in his 'time out' room until we actually get up.

As soon as one of us is awake and moving both cats start talking us through their 'first breakfast.'

Fun huh? Let me know how the squirt gun works out.

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[info]jenihead
2005-03-02 05:39 pm UTC (link)
My cat sneezes on my face when he's mad at me. And when he wants under the covers, he claws at my mouth. Not nice. But he's cute, so I let him.

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[info]mightyafrodite
2005-03-15 10:44 pm UTC (link)
Doesn't quite sound like Magnus, but that boy occasionally tries my patience.

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